We got a direct message on Instagram from Anthony, a man concerned about his girlfriend's friendships. When they started dating, she dumped all of her long term friends to focus on the relationship and like anyone, Anthony was surprised. He loves his girlfriend and is happy that she fits in with his friend group but wishes that she'd take some time for herself with her own friends and not always rely on him for social interaction. Have you ever experienced this?
While it may seem like everyone has close friends, that's not always the case. Sometimes there are unique situations like Anthony's, but also sometimes people just don't put in the work to maintain real life close friendships. When looking for a romantic partner, it might be a good idea to think about how important it is to you that your partner have solid friendships that are their own.
Here are some potential problems you could face dating someone who doesn't have their own friends:
Someone with few friends won't likely be able to have a lasting romantic relationship
One big reason you'll want your partner to have close friends is because those relationships teach you about communication and boundaries. Often, someone who tends to fly solo won't know how to compromise or resolve conflicts. Do you really want to date someone you're going to have to train? If you date someone with limited social experience you two might find that you have a hard time communicating and they may not be able to express themselves.
They can become too dependent on you
If you want a successful romantic relationship, avoid someone who is too dependent on you at all costs. That's the fasted way to feel suffocated or trapped by your partner. It's not possible to meet ALL the needs of your partner and it's not fair to be expected to. Relationships are far more satisfying when each person can balance their independence and their bond.
How can you find out if your potential partner has any friends? Ask! But wait! I don't mean you should just flat out ask, "do you have any friends?" haha, that's a little rude - I mean that after you've gone out a couple of times you can ask about their friends or to meet them in a group date scenario.
Let us know if you've ever experienced this in the comments below.